At the same time, it’s a biological reality that processing a large amount of sugar is different for me. I firmly believe that eating real sugar every damn day can be part of a balanced and varied diet, people with diabetes very much included. I think the demonization of sugar in recent years-similarly to the austere medical guidance I received as a kid-has done real harm to people’s relationships with food. First, I now eat plenty of the real thing. Today, sugar substitutes and I are on happier terms. By my mid-teens, I admitted to myself that the miraculous promise of sugar substitutes was too good to be true after all, and all but cut them out. But as I got older, I was increasingly turned off by the saccharine overload, icky aftertaste (hello, aspartame), serious stomach upset ( thanks, sugar alcohols), and sense of perpetual dissatisfaction. In reality, they delivered an artificial approximation of the real thing that tasted just close enough to what I really wanted-without ever actually hitting the spot-that I kept coming back for more. In theory, these sugar-free treats satisfied my sweet tooth without spiking my blood sugar. At restaurants, little pink and blue packets of white powder mixed in with lemon water for sugar-free lemonade. Sugar-free chocolate Santas on Christmas and bunnies on Easter. Sugar-free pudding after school and sugar-free Swiss Miss at bedtime. I came home to a pantry cleared of sweets, soon replaced by sugar-free versions of everything. During my hospital stay, I learned that sugary foods were now a challenge for my body, and found comfort in the candy-red cups of sugar-free Jello that I was allowed to safely enjoy-my first taste of a substance that tasted sweet, but wouldn’t affect my blood glucose like actual sugar. Sugar restriction crashed into my orbit when I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at age seven. As a person with diabetes, a massive sweet tooth, and a set of anti-diet values, sugar and sugar substitutes are something I’ve wrestled with quite a bit.
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